You know that demeanor somebody has when they have bad news to tell you, and they know it is going to make you feel ill?

The “I know something you don’t know” look.

My OBGYN, sitting towards me with his computer behind him with my chart pulled up, started talking. He was telling us that in some pregnancies there are conditions we cannot control. Things that happen that have little explanation, and the main thing for us to take out of what he is about to tell us is that it is a common birth defect.

Behind him on his screen, I see in red bold letters, “Bilateral Cleft Lip and Palate”.

I interrupt the doctor, and say that I see the words behind him.  I am crying. I am confused. I need to Google “Cleft Lip and Palate” NOW!

At this time my OBGYN is telling Chris that we are going to need to set up an appointment with a high risk OBGYN (perinatologist) as soon as possible.

I am blocking this out. I don’t want to be high risk. I want my boring pregnancy that I had up until 5 minutes ago. 

The OBGYN keeps telling us that it is going to be okay, and that it was more common than we think.  I left the appointment devastated.  I promise I will get into more detail about this feeling in a later blog.

The very next morning we met with the high risk Doctor.  Sitting in the lobby, there was a wall full of baby announcements – twins, babies with Down syndrome, and other disorders.

There wasn’t a single picture of a baby born with a cleft lip. Were mothers too ashamed of how their baby looked to do an announcement? Or did they really not ever see a disorder “so common”?

The high risk doctor confirmed his cleft lip and palate, and then went into more detail of what our plan for the rest of pregnancy would be.  He advised we do the genetic testing (amniocentesis) to see if this was an isolated cleft lip and palate or if there was some underlying genetic disorder causing it.

We agreed to the amnio because we wanted to know for sure that it was “ONLY” a cosmetic problem.

We felt blessed that all of the things that could go wrong in a pregnancy, a Cleft Lip and Palate was something we could deal with.